Police Crime and 999

Written by John Donoghue, It’s a look at a year in his life as a front line response officer, comes with the warning:  CONTAINS HUMOUR AND TRACES OF NUTS and, amongst other things, answers those basic questions:

What REALLY happens behind the scenes in the police?

What bizarre 999 calls are made to the emergency services?

Why can wearing 2 pairs of socks make you a suspect?

What is the link between police and vampires?

Which Royal arrest never made news headlines?

What covert sign do officers make when they no longer wish to talk to you?

He's changed names and places to protect the guilty!

The book isn’t officially available until August, but it is available NOW for all readers of this blog via his website www.policecrime999.com  and John has kindly given us a  10% discount!

Quote: ResponsePlodBlog when ordering for your 10% Discount!

The Greasy Pole

When I joined the job all those years ago, I had ambitions that I would go far.

The two major problems I have that stopped me is that I failed the Part 1 Ospre, twice, although by a small margin but a miss is as good as a mile.

Secondly, I don't know when to shut up.  I will openly state to Senior Officers that something is not right when it blatantly is not right.

Putting it bluntly, I'm a coppers copper.  I don't take crap from anyone and I enjoy working on the factory floor getting my hands dirty.

However, I have massive respect for my Senior Officers.  I may not like some of them but I respect them nonetheless.  I know that they have made it through the ranks and have stood where I stood and have seen what I have seen.

This gives me faith in the people in charge that they, ultimately, know what they are doing.

They can safely make the big decisions at murder scenes, fatalities, major incidents etc. because they have been to these incidents themselves over the years and have built up a wealth of experience and knowledge as they progressed through the ranks.

Which amazes me that the "Flagship" police force of the country, The Metropolitan Police,  is toying with the idea of "Rank Skipping"

It amazes me that at a time of budget cuts and restraints that are going to affect every rank and file officer that they want to insult the officers even more.

How can anyone who has served from a recruit, only 12 months as a PC and given intense training then fast tracked to Inspector in another 12 months then expect to become a good copper earning the respect from others "below" ?

How can I trust an officer with only 2 years "police service" much of it class room based to come out as an Inspector then make the right decisions at incidents?

This officer would have had no experience in policing what so ever and just because they may have some fancy degree in policing or been a manager for a large company, why would that mean they would be good coppers?

If you or I were to go to a company like Hovis and apply to become "senior baker" (hypothetically) they would not even give your application a second glance if you have never baked a loaf of bread before!

I still cannot see you being taken seriously if you then went on to add that you spent 12 months reading cook books and occasionally kneaded some dough.

The bakers around them would lose respect for their immediate supervisor as they would expect, when a problem arose that the senior baker would know what to do, due to their valuable experience gained in the ranks below with years of bread making at their finger tips.

The person may know how to manage people effectively and may actually be great at managing budgets but dealing with the real stuff that comes to policing, well, it's not enough to just have read some books on it once.

I really hope that the Met decide against this little venture.  It's going to be a huge waste of money to train these officers to be Inspectors and have them fall at the first hurdle.

Some may crack under the strain of being thrown in charge of a murder scene as they have not built on the experience of same or similar incidents before.

It will be a shame to see these people ridiculed by their own and the public when they find out they only have a couple of years in and they are supposed to be in charge.

What about the officers who are making their way up the traditional way, only to see some whipper snapper who was in charge of DFS last year suddenly take the promotion over them?

What if, the Commissioner was suddenly ousted by someone who was once in charge of Lloyds TSB?

Would he like it?

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Sucking Eggs

After reading the excellent article in Police Review w/e 3rd June 2011 by Hollie Clemence entitled “Officers urged to ‘look and feel’ cheerful” she reports that ACPO is drafting an Olympic 'Look and Feel' strategy document which they claim will provide a 'consistent message' on how officers on mutual aid during the games are maintaining the 'highest of standards'.

Summarising, it is basically telling officers working during the Olympics how to dress, how to talk and even to remember to smile.

ACPO have also stated that every officer must be trained in the fine art of egg sucking and will be trained to NVQ level although cut backs mean that you will need to provide your own eggs during the 12 week course.

Alright, I made that last bit up, but really, are they serious?!

First of all, exactly how much money are they wasting on this ridiculous and quite frankly insulting report?

Secondly, just exactly who do ACPO think they are?

Not only are they insulting the very officers their thousands of pounds trained and the vast majority have years of experience but instead of backing us up with the ongoing dispute with the government they are basically telling us to just “grin and bear it”

What with the Winsor Report pay and conditions biting into its first year by the time the Olympics come along many officers working the long tiring hours are not going to be wanted to told to “smile and be nice”

What ACPO need to realise is that police officers will continue to do the job we were employed for. It's the job we joined for and want to do.

So please, don't insult our professionalism. We don't need to be told how to dress and how to smile. We do this every day and don't need expensive reports to be reminded how to do it.

What I will ask is for you to declare how much this farce of a report cost and why the money wasn't better used for something more worthwhile, or better still, saved.


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Your Attention Please!

This blog entry is the email I received this morning and it brings me no joy to post this tonight for you all but it needs saying.  This is from DC Simon Steele the Chairman of the Constables Branch Board and serves with Sussex Police.  This message needs to be sent far and wide people so, copy, paste and send to all your colleagues!  Even send a copy to your local MP.

Dear Colleagues,

For those of you that are not aware The Police Federation held their Annual Conference in Bournemouth between the 16^th and 19^th May 2011.

I don’t apologise for the length of this document. You have a right to know all that has happened over the past week. Please read it in its entirety. YOURS and YOUR COLLEAGUES FUTURE are at stake and we need your support. Please feel free to forward this email internally to all of your colleagues. Now more than ever we need to stand as one.

This report is intended to update you on all the relevant points and issues that were discussed last week. It will also give you an insight as to what the Federation are doing to protect your pay and conditions.

Firstly let me make this abundantly clear, the next twelve to eighteen months are going to be the most financially challenging period that you will have faced in your lifetime. This is not scaremongery, this is not spin this is FACT. You will not like what I am about to say and you need to prepare for the tough months that follow.

On Monday I attended the Eve of Conference Meeting.

The Olympics.

The key dates for policing the London Olympics next year are 1^st May 2012 to 16^th September 2012.  The opening ceremony will be on 26^th July 2012.

Policing of the Olympic Torch Run will be conducted on a regional basis with mutual aid provided where necessary.

Each Force has been told of its Olympic Commitments in respect of Officer Number’s and specialist skills. (Apparently).

PFEW has issued guidance to Chief Officers suggesting they set an overall 7% restriction on leave during the Olympic period. Individuals with caring responsibilities should be given priority when leave is allocated at peak periods. Further support has been requested in terms of approaching schools regarding removing children classes during term time.

The more specialist the role you perform, the more likely you WILL be subject to restrictions on taking leave during the Olympic period.

The PFEW will support a minimum of doubling of the normal carry over allowance without prior approval i.e. 10 days or 80 hours. (I guess in Sussex’s case doubling nothing leaves nothing but I would hope a degree of flexibility will be offered and I will update you when a decision is taken).

The mutual aid pattern will be:

Day 1 Travel to Accommodation Venue,

Days 2 - 6 deployed on an 8 hour tour of duty with a minimum mandatory 4 hours overtime period (12 hour day)

Day 7 return to Force area.

It will then be down to each individual Force to manage returned officers rest days.

Two main accommodation sites have been identified. The vast majority will be housed at Hatfield University in Hertfordshire (subject to on going contractual negotiations).

The main accommodation for mutual aid to Dorset is a mobile home park on the outskirts of Weymouth.

Onto the gloomy bit!

The Economic Outlook.

To say that the economic outlook is gloomy is somewhat of an understatement.

We are now 18 months out of the longest recession since 1930. It has been the deepest recession since World War 2.

It lasted 1.5 years through six quarters. (Quarter 2 - 2008 through to Quarter 3 - 2009).

The cumulative loss in national income and output over this period amounted to 6.4%.

The economy has been stagnant for the last 6 months. It fell back 0.5 % in the final quarter of last year and this 0.5% loss was recovered in the first quarter of this year.

The economy is predicted to grow slowly this year and next year.

Inflation will be high and running ahead of pay. There will be severe cuts in expenditure and investment will remain weak.

The government are pinning their hopes on strong growth in exports but the truth is the gap is still growing.

The labour market is weak with unemployment standing around 8%.

Given the weak economic recovery it is likely that employment will start to rise again soon.

In the 20 years up to 2006/7 public spending averaged about 40% of GDP. Government receipts also averaged around the 40% of GDP mark.

HOWEVER in 2009/10 spending increased to 48% of GDP and receipts totalled 37% of GDP resulting in the government borrowing 11% of GDP to make up the shortfall. This is known as the Public Borrowing Requirement (PBR). In 2009/10 this stood at 11%.

The Government debt (Accumulated PBR) stood at 71.3% of GDP in 2010.

In the June 2010 budget government announced their intentions to raise 113 billion pounds to combat the government’s debt deficit. 29 billion from tax increases and 84 billion in expenditure cuts. This includes 18 million (11 million initially) in benefits cuts and 63 billion in spending cuts.

Cuts in departmental budgets (other than health and overseas aid) amounts to a 19% cut in real terms over 4 years. 2011 to 2015. (Labours planned cuts would have amounted to 12% in real terms).

Police funding is to reduce by 14% by 2014/15 in real terms.

Central government funding is to reduce by 20%.

In real terms the reduction will be greater than 20% as the governments Inflation assumptions are unrealistic and too low.

The cuts are concentrated on the first two years so over the next 18 months we are all going to start to feel the pain.

These savings are going to be achieved by a saving in back office functions, modernising pay and conditions (Winsor Review), an increase in pension contributions (Hutton Review) and by reducing Police Numbers.

Effects of the Winsor Review Part 1. (REMEMBER THESE ARE PROPOSALS AND HAVE NOT YET BEEN IMPLEMENTED)

Abolish incremental Pay Progression from September 2011.

This will affect 55 - 60% of Constables.

On completion of training Constables will lose two increments amounting to a loss in wages of £3,186.

Don’t forget that you will lose the first increment in both years 1 and 2 meaning the cumulative loss will be £4,695 over the two years.

Pay Point 5 will result in a loss of £1,671 and a cumulative loss of £2,556.

This one recommendation will generate savings of £250 million over the next two years.

The abolition of CRTP will mean that 35 - 40% of Constables will lose £1,212 of pensionable pay saving 145 million over 2 years.

The abolition of SPP will affect 43% of Constables with an average payment in 2010 of £1203 and will affect savings of £175 million.

The reduction in casual overtime from time and a third to plain time will result in 82% losing a further £422 from your pay packets.

Replacing double time with time and a half for working rostered rest days will affect 65% of you with an average loss of £273.

The introduction of an interim Expertise and Professional Accreditation Allowance will benefit only 33% of you and amounts to £1200.(Non Pensionable).

The On Call allowance of £15 for each session beyond 12. (The downside to this is that The Chief Constable could instruct every single officer in the Force to provide 12 periods of on call cover during the course of the year without it costing the Force a single penny.)

Tow Winsor estimates that if implemented his recommendations will save the government 485 million.

You will not get a pay rise either this September or next September as a result of the Public Sector Pay Freeze. We are told that “We are all in this together” and yet the private sector experienced the pay freeze during the recession and at a time when inflation was in the negative so effectively real pay for the private sector rose. The pay freeze in the private sector lasted for one year and NOT two. Subsequent pay awards have made up some of the lost ground.

We are about to experience our pay freeze at a time of high inflation. The Bank of England predicts inflation at 6% for the remainder of this year and 4% for next year. The BoE persistently under estimate these figures so the likelihood is that these figures may in fact be worse than predicted.

Increased pension contributions are extremely likely with 3% rises recommended.

There is a likely reduction in real disposable income in excess of 10% over the next two years. For an officer earning £35,000 a year this equates to a reduction in pay of around £3,500 . (I did say you wouldn’t like what I had to say).

Unemployment is likely to increase due to the fragile state of the economy and there will be an increase in numbers looking for jobs due to welfare cuts.

A final word of warning, if you haven’t got the message yet - The next two years are going to be very, very tough and you need to start budgeting now for this difficult period.

A recent Federation survey revealed the following: From over 42,000 police officers who responded to the online survey, a 98 per cent said that morale has fallen owing to planned police budget cuts, the possibility of a reduction in police officer numbers, possible changes to terms and conditions. Meanwhile, 86 per cent of police officers believe cutting police officer numbers will have a detrimental effect on crime levels. As a result of the reduction in police officer numbers 78 per cent of respondents believe their workload has already increased or will increase in the future and 91 per cent of police officers believe there will be a decline in service delivery due to planned budget cuts.

At the Constables Central Conference the chair Julie Nesbitt called on the Home Secretary to reject the proposals to freeze incremental pay and scrap the CRTP. She accused the government of being dishonest when they say cuts are needed to protect officer numbers. She also accused ACPO of attempting to become more powerful than it is today.

Policing Minister Nick Herbert attended conference on Tuesday and was attacked from all sides. He was asked by one delegate “If crime goes up as a result of a reduction in Police Numbers will you tender your resignation”. Like almost every other question he was posed he failed to answer it satisfactorily. He appears to hide behind refusing to answer “hypothetical questions” as he uttered the same response when asked if he would make the findings of any future arbitration panel binding, as his party had promised whilst in opposition.

Chairman of the Sergeants committee John Giblin asked “Is it not too late to call off your pack of hounds, return them to their kennels and do the right thing before others cry havoc, and let loose their dogs of war”.

Mr Herbert defended the governments decision to spend billions of pounds on foreign aid stating the money was “saving lives” across the world.

It is clear that those in the Home Office do not wish to listen to officers concerns. There appears little willingness to engage on their part and both Nick Herbert and Theresa May avoided the many difficult questions that were posed of them. It will be particularly difficult to influence a government that has thus far shown no desire to listen and they are using the public debt to legitimise their actions.

The highlights of Conference week for me were the key note speeches by our Chairman Paul McKeever and Home Secretary Theresa May.

Paul McKeever gave a quite brilliant speech in which he systematically dismantled the Home Secretary. For 40 minutes he spoke without notes, without auto cue and he did not let the Home Secretary off the hook for one minute. I have copied a link below which you can cut and paste into your browser and see the contents of his speech in its entirety. I would strongly urge you to read it especially if you care about your future.

http://www.polfed.org/Paul_McKeever_conference_speech_2011.pdf

Mid way through the speech he switched to a recorded video message from David Rathband the PC who was shot by Raol Moat. He told the Home Secretary how much he earnt last year (£35,000) before posing the question “Do you think I’m worth it - Home Secretary).

Our Chairman accused her of being absent without leave at a time when Liam Fox had been fighting and winning to get the cuts in the defence budget lowered .Theresa May did not fight our corner and remained silent.

Paul McKeever received a three minute standing ovation following his speech and the Home Secretary took the floor to complete silence, endured complete silence throughout her speech before leaving the stage to complete silence. She was left in no uncertain terms how angry the rank and file officers are with her and her government.

If you wish to see the Home Secretary’s response you can find it on the Federation website. Its fair to say she came out fighting, all guns blazing and like another famous Conservative female it is abundantly clear that this Lady is also “Not for turning”. We have a fight on our hands to protect our rights, our pay and conditions and it is vitally important that we all stick together over the coming months.

Ian Rennie our General Secretary and Chief Negotiator on the Police Negotiating Board also addressed conference and started by attacking the absence of ACPO Chief Sir Hugh Orde who was otherwise engaged in Canada. He was also critical of Tom Winsor who also declined an invitation to attend conference and explain his proposals for reform of the Police Service.

He emphasised that the Winsor recommendations would have a negative effect on female officers and “could make them an endangered species in policing”.

Mr Rennie highlighted the fact that the removal of CRTP would result in officers being £800 a year worse off in their retirement. Mr Rennie reiterated that Windsor’s report contains little or no evidence to support recommendations. Mr Rennie was further critical of ACPO and damned them for expecting us to pay an annual fee as a membership subscription at the same time that they supporting a reduction in our pay and conditions. He called for ACPO to stand up and support those people they purport to lead.

The phrase “More for less” has crept into the Police Service recently and Mr Rennie highlighted the point that the only thing that you get for less is in fact “LESS”.

He too called for a Royal Commission in Policing, a theme that was repeated throughout the week but apparently falling on deaf ears.

On Thursday we held our annual general meeting and two significant motions were passed at conference.

The first has instructed the Joint Central Committee to write a letter to ACPO stating that the PFEW have no confidence in them to act in the interests of British Policing. As you are no doubt aware ACPO have remained silent of late and appear reluctant to stand at our side in protecting our pay and conditions.

Secondly a motion was proposed to deal with the issues of lawful orders and the motion instructed the JCC to seek changes in this regulation so that the words Lawful Order are replaced by the words Reasonable Request. The motion also calls for the right to challenge such decisions at an employment tribunal.

The Treasurer Martyn Mordecai reported a further welcome drop in expenditure and he assured Conference that he intends to continue to drive costs down further. He has reported that there is no need to increase Federation Subscriptions next year which in this current climate should be applauded.

On a personal note I thought that it was a hugely successful week. It was exactly the response I was looking for from the Federation. Mr McKeever was undoubtedly the star of the show. The delegates that attended Conference were challenging and forthright in their views and have left both the Home Secretary and Police Minister in no uncertain terms how angry we are about this unprecedented attack on the Police Service. Paul McKeever has shown to me in this past week that he has started the fight back to protect our futures and the future of The Police Service. He has shown to me that he is up for the fight and we now place our trust in Ian Rennie as our chief negotiator of the PNB to secure the best deal that he possibly can at the negotiating table.

Negotiations of the PNB start in earnest this week and there is a table of meetings scheduled to take place between now and the 26^th July which is the deadline set by the Home Secretary. If no agreement can be reached then a failure to agree motion will be tabled and the matter will be referred to the Arbitration Tribunal for them to decide on the outcome. The Home Secretary will then have two options - accept or reject the proposals. She has the power to impose all of Tom Winsor’s recommendations but she has been put on notice that this would be a particularly dangerous path to follow.

One thing is clear and that is there will be NO winners. We are all going to have to sustain some pain over the coming months.

Prior to Conference Ian Rennie asked you all for a “call for assistance”. We need your support, now more than ever. Please continue to lobby your MP’s. Please continue to call for a Royal Commission in Policing. Please continue to support the fight for fair pay and conditions.

Over the coming months I will continue to keep you updated on developments. If any of you have any ideas as to how you would like to see the Federation respond over the coming months please let me know and I will pass your views on. What would you like to see the Federation in Sussex doing over the coming months? We are here to represent you so please give us your views.

If any of you would like to become a Federation Representative then please let me now as we still hold some vacancies.

Ensure that your voice is heard over the coming months and remember one thing “WE ARE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER”.

Detective Constable Simon Steele CS597,

Chairman of the Constables Branch Board

Detective Constables Federation Representative

Sussex Police Federation.

Tourist Information

A few years ago it took me a while to wonder why on earth there was a large queue forming in front of me with tourist after tourist coming up to me with their SFQ's until I looked around for a sign above my head saying "Tourist Information" and saw that there actually was one.
I got so fed up with it in the end that I moved three feet to the left and one tourist actually asked me:

"What time do you re-open?"

I love tourists and I love playing games with them.  I love to strengthen my Cockney accent and watch them struggle to understand as I rattle off directions, especially if I throw in the occasional rhyming slang word here and there.

I love when I can joke with them, Americans usually have the best sense of humour when it comes to tourists and appreciate a good laugh, especially if you're gently taking the piss out of them too!

I cannot count the number of times I've had tears rolling down my eyes with laughter when I've given strange answers to questions like:

"Where's Covent Garden?"


"Just down the road there, but you better hurry as they cut the grass at 2pm"

or

"Where's Buckingham Palace?"


"Down the end of this road but you better be quick as they change the guard at 2pm and it's the public turn to have a go"

or

"Is that the building where they film James Bond?"  (pointing out Vauxhall Cross MI6)


"I can't tell you that it's a secret and it's really not actually there, if you look in your A-Z you'll see it don't exist."

I've had some real corkers for questions over the years, some I've forgotten but here are some that'll never go away:

"Sir, what time is the 2pm bus tour?


"Where do I get the bus for the walking tour?"


"Where do I hail a taxi?" (whilst stood in a packed taxi rank)

"Can you tell me where Big Ben is please?"  "Yes, it's over my left shoulder" 

I have been known to answer with "Sorry, but he's out with Little Pete at the moment"


One American Tourist asked where Big Ben was and when I pointed out it was behind her and she replied

"That's it?! That's more like a pocket watch!"

I asked her if she had any clock towers bigger in the States and she replied:

"Yes, The Statue of Liberty!"

Here are some more

"Where it says 'train tickets' is that where I can get my train ticket?"

also

"Where it says 'Theatre Tickets' can I buy a train ticket from there?"


"My English cousin lives in London,  his name is John, do you know him?"


"Can you tell me how to get to London?"  "errrr you're already in it"  "Yeah, but the part I need to get to"


"Why was Buckingham Palace built next to such a busy road?"

"Is that the same moon we have at home?"


"Who's that on top of Nelson's Column?"


"What kind of money do you use here?"  I usually reply with "Monkey bones"

Whilst in Central London "How far is it to walk to the Lake District?"

Pointing to the Union Flag: "Gee that's a neat flag, does it come in other colours?"

"Can you tell me what acts are performing today at Piccadilly Circus and are there real elephants?"

and my personal favourite:

"Can you tell me what time does London close?"

I would love to hear some of yours!

Ain't Misbehavin'

One thing that really gets me annoyed these days is the way kids are molly coddled and protected when they do wrong.

Take the other day. I had cause to speak to a 14 year old boy who was my height and build (I'm five feet eleven when the wind blows South and consider myself as medium to stocky build)

Here was mouthy, "larging" it up in front of his mates thinking he was clever mouthing off to two coppers who have had a hard time policing quite an intense football match.

He didn't know when to shut up.  It was trap trap trap, swear swear swear the whole time.  He was told several times to walk away and stop being a twat but no, he continued whilst he mates watched.

After several warnings of his impending doom, he still wouldn't leave or shut up, so enough was enough.  I nicked him for section five public order abusive words and behaviour.  That's when the fun started.  After seeing that now he wasn't going to get home as previously planned he decided to kick off and put up a considerable struggle which resulted in him being taking to the floor (Home Office approved technique of course) and cuffed to the rear.

The ride in the van gave him perspex bravery he continued his tirade of abuse until we arrived at the nick where a welcoming committee soon shut him up the second the van doors were open.

Now remember, I said this lad was 14.  This was the sort of behaviour I expected from someone who had been drinking or is an habitual offender.

His parents were too far away to be brought down to act as appropriate adults as they were over 200 miles North of our location and no trains were running South, also, they claimed they didn't have a car (or so they said)

An appropriate adult and Social Services eventually turned up and it transpired in interview and through discussions with his parents over the phone that the lad has ADHD or Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder.

Why should I not be surprised?!

I'm sorry but it seems to me that every kid I deal with these days has some sort of attention seeking disorder!

Now, I don't know if these disorders are being found more these days because of advances in science and understanding psychology or is it just some excuse that every parent, teacher and Social Services of these kids seem to use to take away the blame for the kids behaviour from themselves and the child.

Instead of tackling the route problem of why this kid is behaving like a prize prick, lets wrap him up in cotton wool and say it's not your fault, you have a disorder and it's someone else's fault, not yours why you're like this.

We will blame society ills for why you've developed this so that way, you won't feel targeted for your wrong doings.

When I was a kid, children like these were given a clip round the ear and told to pack it in and go to bed without their dinner.

You can't do that now as the pink and fluffy left wing group will insist that you assaulted a child and neglected it food.

"He's bored!" is the excuse I usually hear.

"He's completed "Call of Duty Modern Warfare" so he's got nothing else to do so he burned down the garage to see if car petrol tanks really do explode like in the computer game"

"He's just misunderstood!"

The problem lies in the fact that kids do not socialise properly these days, Facebook, Twitter, PSN, X-Box Live, text messaging seem to be the way these kids communicate.  They don't talk any more.  Humans are meant to talk face to face and get out and about.

The kid next door to me, it is claimed by his parents has ADHD.  Now to me, he's a loud foul mouthed little git and he's 9 years old.

I've never seen behaviour like it and hear language so foul from a kid so young.

To hear his parents discipline him is a joke.  When he swears, they just call out his name and say "Stop swearing"  That is all.  So, as no real punishment has been given, he continues.  If he's loud, they ask him to be quiet, again, no real threat, he continues.

What is he learning?  Nothing apart from he has no boundaries and can get away with what he wants.  So does he really have ADHD? Or is he just not being disciplined properly?

Now when he started swearing at my 3 year old daughter and her friends which I overheard, he soon stopped when I told him in Gene Hunt style, that I would step on and smash up all his toys if I ever heard him call my daughter a "fucking cunt" again.

Guess what? He stopped!  I told his parents for which I received a grateful apology but shook my head when they said in a soft tone to their son "Oh, I do wish you would stop swearing"

Kids crave and need boundaries, even from an early age they test, test, test and will push you to see how far they can go.  You only have to watch my three year old and eight month old daughters to see that.

When they realise they cannot get what they want, they will back down after trying several times to get it.  That's where persistence and patience pays off.

Discipline begins at home and then at school but thanks to pressure groups certain powers to discipline have been outlawed or frowned upon.  Now, I'm not saying you should beat kids black and blue, never in a million years would I ever condone that.  But if you're one of these parents who use the "I'm going to count to five" method. Please have something to punish them at the end of it!

By the way, the lad was given a final warning.  I expect a colleague from a constabulary some where up North to be meeting him real soon.

Now, I'm probably going to get slaughtered for saying some of these things but these are my opinions  only.  If you don't like them, there's the red "X" in the top right corner or feel free to comment as I'm totally open to constructive criticism.

A Close Call

It's taken me a few days to get back to the swing of writing this blog.  I've been out of the loop with a considerable number of things going on with my new house and everything else has fallen by the wayside.

I've been quite busy with work too but nothing to write home about, just all work and no play making me a dull Response Plod.

Then came last Thursday morning.  An event which a split second either way could have abruptly altered my life with brutal consequences.

I was travelling back from a night shift after leaving my high speed train from central London behind, I walked to my car in the beautiful 7am sunshine knowing I was going to be off for four days.  Everything in the world looked good and tiredness was far behind.

Off I set for the 20 minute drive which takes me through the Dartford Tunnel.  Yes, dear readers, I live in the Essex area, I will tell you that much.

For those that know the area, I was approaching Junction 1a which is the last exit before the toll booths to take me from Kent to Essex soil.  I was in lane 2 of 4 and ahead in lane 1 were three articulated lorries all close together.

My driver training took over, I held back, checked my off-side and made sure lane 3 was clear in case one of these behemoths attempted to overtake the other.

One pealed off and went up the slip for 1a and I made my approach to the toll booths.

That was when I heard the most awful loud scraping and crashing sound. I turned my radio down and could still hear it, getting louder all the time.  I looked right, nothing.

Then I looked left and saw all hell literally breaking loose.  One of the articulated lorries had some how jack-knifed and the trailer was tipping its load

....straight into my direction.

Out of my left window all I could see were large, long lengths of metal tumbling towards my car.

Instinct took over, I braked hard and yanked the wheel hard right, confident that I knew nothing was there from my check only seconds before.

The first length of metal crashed down right where I had been a split second earlier and rolled backwards before sliding to a stop.  An unfortunate driver behind hitting it.

I turned the wheel again as yet another piece fell and landed right where I should have been.

Thankfully I managed to steer past both pieces.  I checked my mirror before I stopped.  The carriage way was littered with metal.

I managed to avoid being crushed by a 40 ton load of metal which by rights should have landed on my car.

One split second decision probably saved my life or saved me from serious injury.

Thankfully, more by pure luck, no one was seriously injured.  Although the M25 was knackered for the whole day after that.

Normally I'm on autopilot straight after a night shift.  Thankfully because the sun was shining it gave me a little boost and I was a tad more alert than usual.

It just goes to show that despite doing a dangerous job, the real danger is in the returning home from work.

We concentrate so hard in not getting hurt whilst at work, especially when driving on blues and twos that we tend to switch off and take a back seat when coming home.  We relax and think of what we want to do when we get home and usually after a night shift when we are especially tired, is sleep.

They say your life flashes past you before you're about to die, for me, everything just slowed down. It reminded me of the film, The Matrix.

I got into that car to set off for home and remember every little detail of it, the smells, the glint of the sun on the paintwork which I said I would clean over the weekend (and didn't) I remembered saying "bye" to my colleagues and strolled off confident that I would see them again after my rest days.  I remembered the plans my wife and I had with our two young daughters for my days off.

......Who would have thought that just one second could have stopped all of that?