It Would Never Have Happened To Smeaton...

So, after I posted a blog entry entitled "The Blame Game" exactly what do we blame for the causation of the Summer riots of 2011?


The 'original cause', the death of Mark Duggan has been  significantly over shadowed by the riots which took an even uglier turn with the death of six people across the country and the destruction of peoples homes and businesses.


Tariq Jahan eloquently, wisely and whilst still grieving for the death of his Son called on everyone for peace.  The Duggan family also told the nation that they condemned the riots and did not want them carried out in his name.


So, what caused them?


These riots were going to take place no matter what.  An antiques dealer in Tottenham started to receive telephone calls about a week before they took place, asking if he wanted "protection should anything happen"  This would suggest to me that this was going to happen even if Mark Duggan wasn't fatally shot that August day.  This death was merely a catalyst for events that were going to happen, like it or not.


So where do we start this "Post Mortem" of the events that took place.  What caused this Cancer that spread very quickly across this great city and then the country that I love?


It is very easy and quick to blame the police.  The police would have received the blame whether Duggan lived or died, the fact that there was an illegal firearm, fully loaded in the vehicle he was in, keeps escaping people.


Here in lies the problem.  


The 24 hour news companies were quick to film people on the street hearing that the "police don't respect us" or "the police here don't do nothing to help us" and "the police are always harassing us"


Well, in my opinion, respect is earned.  I hear this a lot in my job "Don't DISS ME" "You need to show me respect"


Funny how quick those who have none for other people are quick to expect it shown to themselves.


"You're only stopping me because I'm black" 


No, it's because I saw you slip a knife under your jog top, or you blew through that red light with no care for anyone else and you have no insurance, MOT etc but, no, lets blame it on the fact you're black being the reason I stopped you and not because you committed a crime.


"If you touch me, I'm going to sue you"


Thank you America! This is another thing I hear regularly.  Including my Mother In Law who is an English teacher.  Some of the story's she tells me, I would quite happily take a machine gun to her pupils. [edit due to complaints on Twitter: This does not mean I will do this literally!  For God's sake get real people! If I meant every time I said to my brother I was going to kill him, I would still be slopping out at Parkhurst!]


My own 11 year old Godson said something similar to his mother the other day when she said to him "You're not too old to get a slap"


The fact he meant what he said shows how damaging our culture has become over the years with discipline.


Our 3 year old daughter was kicking off the other day and my wife said to her "I will count to five and if you don't stop I will slap the back of your legs"


The look of disgust she got from a woman who overheard, speaks volumes, in my opinion of the interference from outside agencies in just simple discipline.


I'm in no way condoning violence towards children but I believe, children need to be taught from an early age that every thing in life has a consequence.  


It is my belief that there are too many groups these days who leap out and attack the ways of parenting and even criminalising parents who have smacked their children when the real abusers slip through the net.


Then we have the schools.  In my day I would get the cane.  I got it twice and never again after that I can tell you.  The mere fact that it was on the wall on a plinth above the Head meant it was destined for your hand after the talk was over.  I respected my teachers and in actual fact, I still speak to one on Facebook who sent me for the cane.


Now we have pupils fighting against teachers, parents who, instead of trying to find out why their little darling set fire to the chemistry lab, want to blame it on the teacher for daring to give their son or daughter a detention for throwing things at another pupil.  In some cases, teachers have actually been attacked by parents for showing discipline to their children.


My Mother In Law will not walk down the road of her village or to our house in case one of her pupils sees her.  She's had her house egged and her windows smashed by her own pupils many times.


However, if my Father in law got hold of one of them, he would be the one arrested.


How wrong, is that?


We have football players who think it's ok to have multiple affairs, to commit numerous criminal  offences and be seen to be rewarded with multi million pound contracts.


These people are supposed to be role models.  


Gangsta Rap which tells their listeners to kill one another for daring to live in another post code or come from another class.  


Single parent mothers who claim they cannot control their child as they have to work every day and that the council took away the local youth club.


"They're bored"  


Well, I grew up in East London, right where they are building the Olympics.  We had miners strikes, Cold War, recessions, 3 day working week.  We didn't have iPods, Nintendo's, X-Box, PS3's etc.  The latest thing I wanted was a set of clackers which you could bounce faster and faster then lose your knuckles in a blinding flash! 


We went out in groups on bikes.  Budgies, Boxers, Strikers, Choppers and Grifters being the fad in those days and we played cricket with a bat made out of floor board and a tennis ball.


We would disappear for hours with our parents safe in the knowledge that we would come back in one piece and with what we went out with.


These days the youth are taught that if you want something, take it.  Kids are bombarded with images of the latest tech and if you don't have it, you're a target in the playground and even the classroom.


We are a society that is quick to take, quick to throw away and quick to blame someone else for your own wrong doings.


I learnt very quickly when I was young that everything has a consequence. 


I got into trouble when I was about 11 and my Dad informed me that I would come home from school, do my homework and I would not watch TV for a week.  For me, this was a disaster, early evening TV was a must. I knew that if I timed it right, I could watch the tele and turn it off just before my Dad got home from work.


My Dad got home, walked to the TV, put his hand on the back, felt the warm glow and then I felt the warm glow of that hand as it connected with my backside.


I didn't do that again, I can assure you.


I was grounded.  My Dad then saw me frantically riding home on my bike with my mates as he crossed the park walking back from the local Underground station.


I learned then too.


I was always told that if I ever brought the police home or got into trouble at school I would suffer the consequences.


Imagine my horror when the local bobby, a big bearded fellow, followed my friends and I to the garages behind my mates house as we collected his bike!


"What's going on 'ere then?  Breaking into garages I see!"


Cue frantic explanations that we were just innocent lads getting my mates bike from his Dads garage.


"Let's just check this lock here then" 


Praying that Tony had actually locked the garage and what on earth my Dad would say if he heard I was taken down the local nick even though I was innocent.


I feared the police, but respected and even admired them all the same.  I called him "Sir" and I meant that too.  These days I get no respect.


Nowadays it's "See that man, he's the one who will take you away when you're naughty"


Or in one case: "See that son, it's a pig"


The police were a "force" not a "service".  If you got on the wrong end of the police you would expect a clip round the ear and taking home to your parents where you would receive a belting for not only breaking the law but bringing the "Old Bill" round the house!


These days, if a police officer lays a finger on someone it's on the news in seconds, filmed on mobiles and shown on You Tube.


Police officers fear striking back for losing their jobs, their homes, or worse, be imprisoned. 


So what is to blame for these riots?


Well in my opinion I would say it's a combination of ill discipline starting with parents, schools which results on a lack of respect for those around.


The "I want it now" and "I'll just take it" culture caused by the mass media marketing strategy from everything from a pair of new trainers to the latest car.  The "upgrades" which means people have to have the latest and you can include football kit.


We didn't have a lot when I was a kid.  Mum only started to work again when we went to school full time so Dad had to pull in a lot of hours.  We got by, but we were well taught that if we wanted something, we had to earn it.


We had to make do and live with it.


What's the solution?


If I knew the answer to that I wouldn't be in this job, I would be earning a fortune on the lecture circuit.  


But it's my belief that if we allowed teachers to regain the classroom without fear of reprisals, parents to take some responsibility in their offspring instead of expecting others to do their work for them, the police to become a "Police Force" again instead of a "service" doing Social Services job for them and take away the mindless amounts of red tape and the ready critical media we have.  Stop this blame culture, the ambulance chasing solicitors who immediately say 


"Where there's blame, there's a claim"


If we get this little bit sorted, perhaps, just perhaps, the world may be a better place.

Haven't you got anything else better to do?

As much as I moan about my job and the political goings on in the background I do generally love being a policeman.  


One thing that always amazes me is that over the years the same questions and statements arise time and time again from members of the public who whilst in conversation either bring them up or actually ask them as the main reason for stopping you.


Here are the answers to the questions to save you asking me next time you see me and in some cases are actually what I really want to say next time I'm asked:


How can I get to the most obscure and insignificant named street the complete other side of London?  


I don't know.  Simple really.  You're standing outside a W H Smith try buying an A-Z.  I am not a black cab driver and I've never done the knowledge.  So why would I know where this street is approx 10 miles in the other direction, way off my patch?


But I thought you policemen knew every where in London?


Refer back to my original answer.  As I stated, I'm not a cab driver.  Do you know where every single street is in your city?


I've got this map and I need to get here (pointing to location) from where we are now (again pointing to location) How do I do that?


Follow your finger along the line!  No, Seriously?!  You have a map, shown me where we are on it, shown me where you want to go on it and yet you want me to show you how to get there.


(After showing them how to get there) No, that's not right, I would go this way.


Then why ask me in the first place? You have the map, use it!


Why do policemen always have their hands inside the stab vests?


Because it's considered rude and unprofessional to have my hands in my pockets and I need some where to rest my hands.  It's also because I'm bored of this conversation and these stupid questions.


I'm going to ask you about the most obscure piece of legislation known to man and then moan because you don't know the answer to it.


I'm not a legal expert. I've had training in the law, yes and I've an A-Level in Law but I don't know the law about it being illegal for a lady to eat chocolate on a conveyance.  If you want the answer to your question either seek a solicitor or better still, research the internet.


What time does this shop close?


So I look like I work for Tesco now?  I must have not noticed that the average Tesco worker carries cuffs, baton, spray, wears a stab vest and a hat which has sign clearly saying "Police" written on it.  I guess it must get a little fraught at Customer Services with all these customers asking stupid questions!  You must have walked past exactly the same sign as me on the way in and as it's 3am I'm guessing it's open all night.


Do you think you should be eating that?


Well, no actually, I was going to use it to throw at speeding motorists to make them think they've hit someone.  I tell you what, I'll take a look inside your basket and start asking why it is you only have "Meals for One"


Shouldn't you be in the doughnut aisle? 


I think you are confusing us with the American Police.  If this was a kebab van, then you've got me.  Stop watching all those films and thinking it's real life.


You can't talk to me like that!


But you think it' perfectly acceptable to talk to me like that and not expect anything back.  Listen. You've been tugged for a perfectly good reason.  You decide to trap off and call me every thing under the sun and because I tell you to wind your neck in and shut your mouth, suddenly I'm the one being rude.


Can a pregnant woman wee in your helmet?


I've been asked this one about a thousand times.  Truthfully I don't know but why on earth would anyone want to do that when they've probably walked past so many toilets, pubs, cafes, restaurants and bushes is beyond me.


Do you get many people asking to take your photo.


Well, it's dipped to only about five hundred today.  Yesterday was well over seven hundred by the time I booked off.


You can't stop me, I know my rights.


Once again, my friend, you seem to be mistaking us from our cousins across the pond.  I have a reason to stop you, and I have grounds therefore I am detaining you for this search and or stopping your vehicle as I suspect you've committed an offence.


This shop won't give me a refund.  I want you to go in and arrest them.


I cannot help you I'm afraid.  However, I suggest you write to customer services.  They have their own internal department that can arrest any person found guilty of holding onto a dumb arse customers money who think that a policeman can help them get a refund for returning a worn pair of pants.


Haven't you got anything else better to do?


Actually I have better things to do, I'm just not doing them right now.


Enough to put you off your public service!

You'll Always Find Me In The Kitchen At Parties

It's a funny old game being a copper at times.

It's the only job that when attending parties and meeting people for the first time, I get introduced with my name and career.

"This is Phil, he's a copper"

It happens every time, without fail.

I've never seen any other person in another job introduced in the same way:

"This is Dan, he's a chartered accountant"

Or:

"This is Jim, he's been falsely claiming invalidity benefits for 10 years"

It's the only job I've had where when people find out what you do for a living, they make that wincing look and suck the air through their teeth. Just like a car mechanic does before they say:

"It's gonna cost ya!"

Or when they remember you're a copper, they say:

"Oh yeah, I forgot, you're the copper!"

And the minute someone finds out you're a copper, they start to tell you all the problems they've had with police in the past. How much they hate the old bill and how it should be run.

You know, massive sweeping comments, such as, "All coppers are bastards"

Or they ask stupid questions like:

"Why have I not seen a copper down my road for years?"

Or:

"My house was broken into last week, why wasn't you there in five minutes and when you did eventually turn up you did bugger all to catch them!"

My usual response is "Me? I was probably in bed!"

But would they find it offensive when I find out what they do for a living and insult them and their profession?

"Oh, you're a plumber are you? Well, all plumbers are cowboys! Grab your money and run bastards and you never turn up when you say you will!"

Or:

"Oh, you're an accountant, how boring!"

But it's perfectly acceptable to stand there while I'm trying to relax, be it at a party, or on my way home and insult me about what I try to do to make an honest living.

Passing the wincing, air sucking stage, I am usually bombarded with a shed load of questions about the job.

Now, this could mean they are genuinely interested but after the tenth person asking the same questions in the space of one evening, it gets a tad annoying!

"Whats the worse job you've ever dealt with?" (Like I need reminding of it)

"How many people have you arrested?" (and are shocked when I say I don't know)

"Do you take your gun home?" (I don't carry a gun)

"Why do you not carry a gun?" (Because I'm not trained)

"Why are you not trained? I saw a policeman the other day who had one" (I haven't applied for the course, I don't want one and the man you saw with one, has had the course)

"Why do you not want one?" (for numerous personal reasons!)

And the one that usually annoys:

"If I hit you, would you arrest me even though you're off duty?" (I reply with "Try and see")

When you've managed to get past that stage everything you get spoken to about is job based. They expect you to know every sodding law ever passed since the signing of the Magna Carta.

"How many pints am I allowed to tonight?" (Depends)

"Depends on what?"

You can see a trend emerging here can't you?

The favourites spouted by people at parties etc are:

"You can't do that you're a copper!" (I'm just getting another beer for heavens sake!)

And:

"Here he is mate, nick him, he's the one you want!"

Yes, ha bloody ha! Very original!

When they've finished speaking to you they introduce you to another person

"This is Phil, he's a copper"

and as it begins again a little piece of me dies, heard only as a subtle groan.













Follow me on Twitter
www.twitter.com/ResponsePlod
@ResponsePlod #ResponsePlod

Spitting Feathers!

Yes, yes, this is gonna be a nasty post so stop reading if you think you can’t handle it!


After reading  a "Tweet" made by @999Response last night about being spat at, it occurred to me that "spitting" is the most hated assault in our job.


I don't know why people resort to spitting when cornered, it must be a primal instinct and last line of defence but I see it as a sign of anger, hatred and contempt.


I thought it was on the decrease.  I could count at one stage the number of spittings at me on one hand but that seems to have doubled over the last year alone.


I can handle being punched, kicked, slapped, head butted, sworn at etc but incidents involving the mouth literally leaves me boiling over.


I cannot stand spitting or biting.  It's the one thing on the job I hate the most.  If I've arrested someone and they bite or spit at me then it takes an incredible amount of self restraint not to punch them straight in the face or worse.  In my mind, I've already done it and they're laying on the floor, spark out.  But of course, in reality I cannot do that as I would be no worse than them.


What I have to do is try not to react at all and show it has had no effect that I have the contents of the back of their lungs, nose and throat sliding down my face or that their teeth marks have caused a bruise on my hand.  What I do do, however is to jam my flat opened palmed hand down the side of their face and neck and force their head and face down whilst placing them into a locked restraint so they cannot do it to me or anyone else again.


When women spit, I really get angry, especially when it's at me.  Maybe it's an instinct, call it sexist if you wish, that I believe that women should not be spitting!


I arrested a woman a few years back for D&D (Drunk and Disorderly) and she was quite happy being led to the van, but just as I was putting her in the back of the cage, she turned and spat a huge green wad of phlegm straight into my face.  I restrained myself from not throwing her straight to the ground but informed her that she was now under arrest for Assault Police as her phlegm slipped towards my mouth which I hastily wiped off! 


I witnessed an incident a few years ago in East London where a student officer had his bicep ripped open by what can only be described as something that looked like a bite from a nature program.   He was helping to restrain a giant of a man who was kicking off and the officer unfortunately leant across his face leaving his arm open.  The bite was horrendous, he tore into and ripped the flesh, then followed the blood curdling scream of the poor student officer as most of his bicep disappeared and was spat on the floor.  


It's not so much as the possible transmission of God knows what disease these days, it's the total lack of respect for the person that's being spat at or bitten.


So next time you're arresting someone, especially if you're a student officer, be prepared for that spit that maybe coming your way.  Try not to put yourself in the firing line and give yourself distance.


And, if you are the one being arrested, keep your mouth closed!