You'll Always Find Me In The Kitchen At Parties

It's a funny old game being a copper at times.

It's the only job that when attending parties and meeting people for the first time, I get introduced with my name and career.

"This is Phil, he's a copper"

It happens every time, without fail.

I've never seen any other person in another job introduced in the same way:

"This is Dan, he's a chartered accountant"

Or:

"This is Jim, he's been falsely claiming invalidity benefits for 10 years"

It's the only job I've had where when people find out what you do for a living, they make that wincing look and suck the air through their teeth. Just like a car mechanic does before they say:

"It's gonna cost ya!"

Or when they remember you're a copper, they say:

"Oh yeah, I forgot, you're the copper!"

And the minute someone finds out you're a copper, they start to tell you all the problems they've had with police in the past. How much they hate the old bill and how it should be run.

You know, massive sweeping comments, such as, "All coppers are bastards"

Or they ask stupid questions like:

"Why have I not seen a copper down my road for years?"

Or:

"My house was broken into last week, why wasn't you there in five minutes and when you did eventually turn up you did bugger all to catch them!"

My usual response is "Me? I was probably in bed!"

But would they find it offensive when I find out what they do for a living and insult them and their profession?

"Oh, you're a plumber are you? Well, all plumbers are cowboys! Grab your money and run bastards and you never turn up when you say you will!"

Or:

"Oh, you're an accountant, how boring!"

But it's perfectly acceptable to stand there while I'm trying to relax, be it at a party, or on my way home and insult me about what I try to do to make an honest living.

Passing the wincing, air sucking stage, I am usually bombarded with a shed load of questions about the job.

Now, this could mean they are genuinely interested but after the tenth person asking the same questions in the space of one evening, it gets a tad annoying!

"Whats the worse job you've ever dealt with?" (Like I need reminding of it)

"How many people have you arrested?" (and are shocked when I say I don't know)

"Do you take your gun home?" (I don't carry a gun)

"Why do you not carry a gun?" (Because I'm not trained)

"Why are you not trained? I saw a policeman the other day who had one" (I haven't applied for the course, I don't want one and the man you saw with one, has had the course)

"Why do you not want one?" (for numerous personal reasons!)

And the one that usually annoys:

"If I hit you, would you arrest me even though you're off duty?" (I reply with "Try and see")

When you've managed to get past that stage everything you get spoken to about is job based. They expect you to know every sodding law ever passed since the signing of the Magna Carta.

"How many pints am I allowed to tonight?" (Depends)

"Depends on what?"

You can see a trend emerging here can't you?

The favourites spouted by people at parties etc are:

"You can't do that you're a copper!" (I'm just getting another beer for heavens sake!)

And:

"Here he is mate, nick him, he's the one you want!"

Yes, ha bloody ha! Very original!

When they've finished speaking to you they introduce you to another person

"This is Phil, he's a copper"

and as it begins again a little piece of me dies, heard only as a subtle groan.













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Got Your Number!

I sometimes wonder why I bother to read some reports about policing published in the main stream media, many are bias towards the government and have a tendency to be rather far from the truth or grossly exaggerated.

Do we "kettle" or do we not?

Do we go in hard against violent thugs claiming they are for "democracy" as they smash every thing up and then we face hatred in everything we read?

Or do we go in "soft" and then face hatred in everything we read?

Damned if we do, damned if we don't!

However the amount of utter drivel that can be spouted in the media, some of it is brought to our own doorstep and is our own bloody fault!

Once again (unconfirmed) reports are coming through from a variety of sources stating that some officers on duty on Saturday were not wearing numbers....yet again!

Why? It is clearly regulations that officers on duty, in uniform, with the rank of Sergeant and below, must wear numbers and that includes public order kit.

Now, playing devils advocate here, it could be the reports are wrong.

It could be that the officers involved have had their numbers ripped off. A tactic used by protesters in the past to either anger officers, gain a trophy or to purposely cause the officer not to have any numbers on display then they're open to complaint or discipline. Also poor design on the coveralls mean the epaulettes can easily be ripped off.

It maybe that the officer is so sick and tired of malicious complaints that they have taken them off in order to get on with the job.

Or, it could be that the officer does not want to be accountable for their actions and will use the anonymity to get away with unlawful tactics which if thats the case, makes my blood boil.

I wear and have always worn my numbers. I am accountable for my actions and I am not hiding anything.

If the reason for failure to wear the numbers were for sinister reasons only, then I hope you are found out and disciplined.

I cannot figure out why the Supervisors left it to go unchecked. Then again, in all that was going on, it may have been a tad difficult. However these should have been on the kit and checked before deployment.

It angers and disappoints me because it takes the shine off the hard work that was done by the thousands of officers on duty that day who were there for lawful duties, to protect those demonstrating and the property of those on the route.

It angers me because if it means you were in it for the unlawful tactics then you are no better than those that were trashing the area.

We take enough hits being police officers as it is.

We don't need any more being brought to the public eye by officers I thought were supposed to be colleagues and friends!

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UKUnCut March 26

Today I have met some wonderful people. People I would not have thought that my job as hated as it can be at times would have crossed my path or touched me in ways that my job has done before.

I'll be honest with you from the off. I hate policing demos. We always end up the target for hate. A tool of the government to throw bottles and stones at. We get screamed at that we are breaching civil and human rights never mind the fact that they've been throwing missiles at us for hours.

Today, was different in so many ways.

I met people who are in the same boat as us. Facing an uncertain future, facing massive cuts and exploitation by a government that not only are threatening our very existences, have lied to us all.

I met a family with their young Son on the way there who had travelled a hundred or so miles to show their support for everyone of us facing cuts be them doctors, nurses, teachers, fire brigade even Union of boilermakers.

I spoke with them for some time and they thanked us for helping them demonstrate safely and that they know we face an uncertain future but cannot demonstrate with us.

I became worried for them, as I had heard no issues on my radio of trouble but soon as they had gone from sight, the trouble began.

These anarchists can only be described as mindless thugs hell bent on destruction, hijacking any reason just to have a fight.

These people did not represent any of those I saw today. Decent, hard working folk who are concerned not only for their future, but their children's futures and their children's children's future.

To those I did manage to speak to I thanked. I thanked them for demonstrating a worthy and just cause and to prove that us decent hard working people will not just go gently into that good night.

I thanked them because I could not join them. They were our voice today too and they did us proud.

However to those who set out to destroy that message today by destruction.

Shame on you!

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Stand and Deliver!

Well, it's Budget day today and we have experienced the usual "Robbing of Peter to pay Paul"

There was a mention of public sector pensions and George Osborne accepts Hutton's review of the pensions contributions.

I guess that means it's going ahead and we're all doomed.

Well, the government are claiming we are living longer and therefore contributions must rise to accommodate the short fall but what with everything else on the increase, inflation, food costs, job loses and fuel rising who would want to live longer?

Oh wait, fuel increase has been frozen.  Well hallelujah, we are saved! There was me thinking that we had the most expensive fuel costs on earth and there is Osborne stopping the 1p increase until at least 2012.

The problem is, it's not 1p, it's 1 penny plus VAT and 1 pence above inflation so you will not find your fuel pumps only going up by 1p.

I finally received my letter today from my local MP to whom I wrote with regards to the Winsor and Hutton reports.  The letter I received was not impressive.  But what do I expect from a Tory fat cat who is probably claiming for two houses and a moat to be regularly maintained whilst her husband sits and watches porn all at our expense (allegedly)

The letter which she could have sent via Twitter,as it was that short, basically stated that Winsor has to find cuts in the police service and during these hard times we all have to take a large bite of the shit sandwich kindly brought to us by those wearing Gordon Gekko braces, drinking coffee somewhere in one of the City's banks.

As for the pensions, well, sorry but once again, we are all having to save and this is the best way (apparently) to make cuts.

I am going to reply in a similar manner and suggest they freeze Parliamentry expenses for MP's for the next 5 years as that will save a fortune in public money being wasted and see how she responds to that.

After all, Ken Clarke was being paid a small fortune today and yet he fell asleep during the Budget.  And Yes I can say he did fall asleep and no allegedly too, as it was noticed by Ed Milliband, TV cameras, The Telegraph and bookies who have paid out at 16/1.

If they dock him pay for the length of time he was asleep during PMQ's and Budgets there would be enough to run a hospital for a year.

I ask you, what other career can you be paid and sleep during your shift?

....Ok, who said "Fire Fighter" ? Right, Get out!

This Saturday sees a demonstration in London TUC, Unison etc with regards to the cuts.  I bet many of us that are policing it would actually like to be there protesting with them, I know I want to be but I'm having to make sure that Whitehall doesn't end up looking like Tripoli after dark if the idiots who ruined the Student protests turn up again.

So if you are attending, please play nicely people.  Get your point across and leave without destroying anything.  Remember that there are others who are looking after your demonstration who agree with everything you're demonstrating about.  The main differences being, we can't voice it on Saturday and we can't go on strike.

Problem is, with fuel prices soaring, cost of train fares rising beyond a joke etc etc

.....Who's going to be able to afford to actually go?

When I Get Older, Losing My Hair, Many Years From Now....

I'll still be working in the Police Force and probably have a blue light attached to my Zimmer Frame or electric cart!

That's assuming I'm still alive of course!  Thanks to Lord Hutton there's a good chance that I'll still be chasing after criminals a damn sight younger than me at the age of 60 and to make matters worse, the decent pension I thought I would have received, is a lot smaller than it should have been and I've paid a lot more for it.

Whilst the banks are declaring major profits and bonuses, the suckers that are us public sector workers have taken yet another hit, this time with our nest egg, the pension.

I did not join the Police Force in order to retire early, as stated in a previous blog entry, I joined to help and make a difference.  The reason we only tend to do 30 years as a police officer is because of the stress and strains that come with the job.

It used to be an average of 5 years a police officer would live after retirement. Thanks to appropriate support in place that is no longer the case.  However, upping our retirement age and taking away our final salary pensions in place for "career average earnings" is probably going to see that death age creep back as retired officers cannot afford to heat their homes or are so burnt out from the job life style that ill health rapidly over takes them.

Hutton basically states because of the rise in life expectancy people are living off of pensions longer and are a drain on resources.

The government have said they are grateful for his work [Hutton's] and will give it careful consideration.  Which you and I know means that they will go along blindly with every word he says.

Well, thanks to the government's major cut backs to the funds for the NHS, Armed Forces and Policing we can see that rise in life expectancy being only short lived.

Dave Prentis the general secretary of Unison said:


"This will be just one more attack on innocent public sector workers who are being expected to pay the price of the deficit, while the bankers who caused it continue to enjoy bumper pay and bonuses."


I agree whole heartedly, however, your members can strike, we cannot unless some line in the sand is drawn by the Federation now. 


On the talk of strike, the problem with being a police officer and strike is two fold:


One. The public suffers, not those that make the stupid decisions.


Two.  Can any officer, honestly say that they could sit there and ignore calls from people who need our help?


Well, there is the Army of course but they're all off fighting a pointless war in a far off land and anyway, those who are stationed here will probably have to cover any Fire Brigade strike because someone woke them up during a night shift.


Matt Wrack, Fire Brigades Union general secretary, said: "This is the great pension's robbery and is completely unacceptable to firefighters across the UK."


So that's that, they'll be out on strike along with everyone else and we'll have to pick up the pieces

He also stated: "Expecting firefighters to work until they are 60 is wrong. Firefighting is a physically arduous job. Peak fitness is essential where seconds can cost lives. The public will not want an ageing frontline fire and rescue service."

What about the Police?

Do we really want to be The REALLY OLD Bill?

A Policeman's Lot Is Not a Happy One

Quite apt for what's happening to us lately. More to follow on the Hutton Report later

Feeling The Pinch!

Well, today finally came and it's a day where we were hit by people we thought needed us the most.

Tom Winsor, a former rail regulator swung upon the police forces of this country with what can only be described as another "Beeching Axe"

The fact that escapes the members of parliament is that the railways of this country are a disgrace, an under funded shambles run by people who only want a profit and it grinds to a halt come rain, come shine.

And they've let a former regulator of this mess attempt to cull money spending within our force.

...I'll let that sink in for a moment.

I won't bleat on about what Winsor has said and what he has found as it's pointless and been done to death by now and the last thing you want to read is yet another blogger repeating what he's already stated.

What angers me the most through all this, is the media and parliamentary spin that the unsuspecting public who are not in any way connected to the force have had to endure.

We have seen a member of the Green Party come out on TV and state, that it's not fair that we have 30 year pensions completely forgetting the fact that pensions are now for 35 years and have been for a few years now.

I watched in dumbstruck awe, as a retired police officer sat there and stated on TV that he has had times where he has finished "5 minutes into his rest day and claimed 4 hours at double time"

First of all, to that retired officer, Thank you very much for that! You have held onto the handle of the blade this government has taken and helped stab it firmly between our shoulder blades!

You've got your pension, you've secured all your rights and you earned your money so what made you even think to go on National TV and practically pull the rug from under our feet on the very people you served with?

"Pull the ladder up Jack, sod the rest" springs to mind!

Whilst I don't deny that there has been some gross over spending in areas of all forces, don't take it out on the front line for God's sake!

The Barclay's Brothers and their little empire, giving themselves massive pats on the back bonuses whilst all this is going on, adds insult to injury, especially when it was mostly the unregulated banking industry that screwed it for every body!

The fact that we get paid for what is a dangerous job again escapes them.  Policing has the highest rate of all occupations for divorce and sickness.

Why?

Simple, long stressful and potentially dangerous hours with the fact that we at the last minute can receive a rest day cancellation for court, urgent policing matters never minding what you had planned with the family.  We can never have a "life" so to speak, as we are constantly expecting it to be cancelled.

You don't see Tom Winsor, Theresa May or David Cameron policing the streets single crewed at 3am.  Or policing New Years Eve on flat rate money because the Bank Holiday hasn't kicked in till 06:00 hrs.

You don't see them turn up to deliver a death message to a woman who's been out of her mind with worry wondering why her husband hasn't answered his mobile.

Or holding onto a child that has been involved in a car crash and watch their life ebb out of them because there's nothing they can do to save them.

Every time something like this happens, I leave a piece of me at that incident.  There's only so much of me to go round.

We deserve the pay we get for what we have to endure!

What has happened today will effect each and every household across the country.  You won't see recruitment drives any more and officers won't be replaced when they leave.  So don't go screaming that no one has turned up to your burglary because pulling items from magic hats only works for Paul Daniels.

How about this one Mr Winsor? Try going to London Underground or other railway companies and try sweeping cuts in something you do know something about.

Then see how long it takes before the capital and the country grinds to a halt again with an all out strike.

Something I envy them for at times!

Here endeth the rant.

And The Hits Just Keep On Coming!

Police pay cuts 'unavoidable' says Home Secretary

Pay cuts for police officers "must form part of the package" of savings earmarked for the service in England and Wales, the home secretary has said.

BBC News 2 March 2011

Well to quote the Federation Chairman (@PoliceFedChair) on Twitter this morning

 "The home sec knows how to motivate cops!"

Once again I'm left baffled as to exactly why I am still a bearer of Her Majesty's Warrant, when the government who call upon us to put ourselves in danger for them due to their radical and sometimes stupid decisions, stab us straight in the back with an announcement like this.

As I stated earlier on Twitter (@ResponsePlod) I don't do this job for the money as otherwise I would have joined an organisation where I was guaranteed better pay and conditions, my rest days, Christmas Day, Bank Holidays and going home at the end of every shift, preferably alive.  I did join this job,however and please forgive me for sounding cliché, to make a difference and help people.

I've always enjoyed working with the public and being a police officer has been a dream of mine since I was 8 years old.  However, in those days, the police were a respected career, good pay, good conditions and looked after by the government.

If the government want to cut funding by 20% by 2015, increase our pension contribution , cut our overtime, housing allowance, travel and freeze our pay what next?

They actually had the cheek to state that police officers can retire early therefore benefit considerably from their pension.  What they fail to state is that by the time we retire, we are burnt out!  We've gone through hell to get there with long and dangerous shifts, cancelled days off and the risk of divorce due to never seeing your family.

Cutting our benefits?  That's a joke!  There's nothing left!  If they cut our travel allowance then what they fail to realise is that the reason it's there is so if there's an incident on a train, bus etc you are duty bound to get involved!  

I would say, they can kiss that goodbye because if I've had to buy a ticket, I'll be sat in the corner (most likely crushed standing) with my headphones on, looking the other way.  The problem is, I most likely will get involved and probably get a Reg 9 as a thank you present.

With the recent insulting staged 1.5% pay rise from the last Home Secretary resulting in a mass protest march which I was proud to take part in. What will this latest kick produce from us?

Some mutterings and groans because that's all we can do.  We cannot strike like other services.  If we had that right, we would have walked out and not been back.

This government with their cuts, have pushed people to the limit.  You only need to take a look at the goings on in Greece and the Middle East for an idea of what could happen.

The government would then expect us to fight back against these protesters for them.

Be very careful Mr Prime Minister, as you may see one or two of us joining the protest, come the revolution!